Talking about sex can be complicated for many, but have you ever stopped to think about the consequences of not doing it and not being able to express your doubts?
Sex is an important aspect in people’s lives. We are surrounded by elements that constantly remind us of this: advertisements, music, series, movies, magazines… However, contrary to what might be expected, talking about sex is still very complicated for most of us.
Despite all the social advances that have occurred in recent decades, sex has a certain air of taboo. Whether it’s with our partners, friends or family, opening up to other people and talking about it can make us feel very uncomfortable .
The simplest explanation for this is that, many times, when talking about sex we are sharing very intimate aspects of our being , elements that are still censored or uncomfortable for society. And this, logically, generates reluctance.
Reasons why it is difficult for us to talk about sex
Below we examine the main reasons why communicating with others about this topic is so difficult.
The goal is to be able to talk more openly about sex, when you really want to . Some of these reasons are:
1- Fear of being different
For many people, the main reason why it is difficult to talk about sex is because they hold certain irrational ideas about it. The most common is that they believe that if they express what they think about the subject, others will judge or reject them.
This idea is based on the myth that there is only one correct way to enjoy sexuality; Due to certain social pressures, we think that we have to have sexual relations in a certain socially imposed way.
Anything that deviates from the accepted sexual practice is wrong or weird. However, the reality is that there are as many ways to enjoy sex as there are people who have it. Therefore, there really isn’t just one way to express our sexuality.
Most of us have felt at some point that we are different from others in some sexual matters. Although some people engage in less common practices, no act involving consensual sex between two adults has to be negative from the start .
Therefore, the first thing we must do to talk about sex comfortably is to accept what makes us different; Usually, if we are able to open up, we will feel more liberated and fulfilled by being able to express our thoughts and feelings.
2- Fear of rejection
This problem is one of those that most prevents us from talking about sex with our partner: having relationships with another person can make us feel very vulnerable. In general, we are especially concerned about being rejected when we find ourselves in a sexual situation .
This fear can cause us not to express in front of our partner what we like or feel like doing. And the problem with acting like this is obvious: if we don’t tell the other what we want, it is practically impossible for us to end up satisfied with the sexual relationship.
Therefore, if we want to fully enjoy sex, we will have to learn to open up to the person with whom we are going to have the encounter and be honest about our tastes, preferences and expectations.
On the other hand, the level of vulnerability that the sexual situation brings with it can be very uncomfortable for some people. In this regard, as practical advice, you can move little by little in the process that ultimately leads to sexual contact .
For example, you can start by expressing a wish that you have not yet discussed with your partner, but that you do not hesitate to share. Thus, if a positive reaction is perceived, the confidence necessary to express ourselves more and more will be cultivated.
In this sense, talking about sex with the other person can serve as a way to generate more trust between the members of the couple, so that this openness to the sexual theme would fulfill a double function.
3- Believing that it should not be necessary to talk about the subject
Finally, some people find talking about sex unnecessary. This irrational belief leads us to think that we should all innately know what our partner likes and, therefore, we fear that asking could be considered an indication that we have not lived up to it .
This way of thinking is as harmful as it is false. The reality is that sexual pleasure is very complex and that each person is a world. It is impossible to know in advance what each individual enjoys .
Therefore, communicating with our partner is essential to fully enjoy our encounters. Only then can you get to know what the other person wants and expects. This, of course, must be a mutual effort : neither can we fully know the other person’s tastes without asking, nor should they have to guess at ours.
In this sense, until you are able to talk about sex openly with your partner, it will be very difficult for the two of you to find yourself fully comfortable on a sexual level, since each one will maintain an erroneous belief regarding the other that will lead them to act inappropriately. .
Now that you know the negative of not being able to express yourself freely and not share your doubts and sexual concerns, we encourage you to get rid of your complexes and be able to share with others what you feel and think about sex .