Some people think that sexuality is bad. This is the reason why for them it ends up becoming a taboo, condemning them to only obtain suffering from a part of their biology that, on the contrary, is closely related to pleasure.
Although sex as a topic of conversation is much less taboo, the truth is that many people are still uninformed about it. Having access to pornographic films or listening to what is said out there are not factors that offer true training in sexuality. In fact, in many places sex education classes leave a lot to be desired.
There is also the taboo imposed by various religions and by families, in various parts of the world. All this, taken together, leads some people to think that sexuality is bad or that it is part of the world of the forbidden. Thinking in this way limits personal development and hinders life as a couple.
Patriarchalism is also among the factors that lead to the prejudice that sexuality is bad . This occupies a central place in this type of belief, since it establishes a mandate for “good women” and, consequently, for the men who have ties to them.
Likewise, errors or inaccuracies in the concepts of pleasure and pain influence, as well as restrictive ethics. We’ll talk about this right away.
“ There is no love without sexual instinct. Love uses this instinct as a brutal force, as the brig uses the wind .
-Jose Ortega y Gasset-
Thinking that sexuality is bad limits personal development and relationships.
Sexuality and fear
Unfortunately, sexuality is a subject with vertices that can inspire fear . It is not necessary to suffer from erotophobia for it to be so. Perhaps the most widespread fear is that of not having an adequate performance with the couple. In other words, it is fear of rejection for not meeting the partner’s intimate expectations.
The origin of fear may also be related to a mental association between sexuality and transgression . Several religions openly forbid sex outside of marriage or even sex for pleasure. They address sexuality in its most basic sense: an essential biological contact to preserve the species.
The consequence of this is that sexuality, but especially sexual pleasure, causes guilt . Liking sex or enjoying sex comes to be seen as an approximation to “perversion” or “animality”, despite the fact that it is precisely this vision of basic sex that is closest to zoology. Even so, pleasurable sexuality is perceived as a kind of degradation, a “fall” or a loss.
So why do some think sexuality is bad?
The fact that there are so many fears associated with sexuality gives the subject a negative connotation. Now, fears are not born just because . There are factors that help them to arise and also that nourish them. Among those factors are the following.
Previous learning
It is one of the decisive factors. The education received in the family or at school is decisive . The information in this regard is usually imbued with the attitude that the person transmitting it has towards sex, as well as their prejudices.
For this reason, it is not uncommon for erroneous information to have been received and then no way to verify it has been sought or found . This also applies to those who have received their training from what their friends say or what pornography presents.
Contempt for science
There are not few people who see science as a threatening terrain. They consider it too “cold” or think that it goes against “morality”. Religions often have a certain enmity with scientists, implicit and explicit. This leads some to view the data provided by science with suspicion, especially on issues such as sexuality.
Negative experiences
This is also a recurring factor. If there are previous negative experiences, such as rejection by a partner, some accident or conduct that was misappraised, etc., it is possible that sexuality begins to be associated with threatening or negative terrain .
Negative experiences in the sexual field can condition the conception that one has about sexuality.
Sexual abuse
As is obvious, people who have been victims of some form of sexual abuse carry trauma around the issue . It should not necessarily be someone who was raped, but also verbal harassment, touching, harassment, etc.
To do?
Break with an idea: not every adult has a sexual education, no matter how much they have had sexual relations. This is wrong. The biological basis of sexuality may be known, but its meaning or implications are far from understood .
It is very important to be well informed about the subject. Understanding, for example, that sexual pleasure is a delicate and sophisticated biological mechanism for the survival of the species . If sex did not imply pleasure, it may be rarely practiced and the result could be extinction.
If the rejection of sexuality is very great, or if the issue causes various difficulties, there is nothing better than doing psychotherapy or discussing it with a professional. Many gaps and obstacles are overcome when interacting with someone informed and without prejudice.
