Human sexuality is a fascinating world. Sexual desire is one of the engines of our intimate life. Now how can we take care of it?
Some people experience sexual desire as something alien to themselves. There are those who believe that it is like magic, when it appears they don’t know what happened or how it appeared there, but they enjoy it. Others experience it in a miracle-like way, have heard about it from other people, have little hope of it happening to them, and if they ever experience it in their own body, they will chant “Hallelujah!”
Sexual desire, especially the female one, has been singled out and judged throughout its history . Women have been told what, how, when, where and with whom they should feel desire. They have tried to correct them and set them a “correct” path to follow regarding their sexuality.
“You shouldn’t feel desire towards that person”, “your desire is wrong, you have to correct it”, “you should really want it”, “do this to experience more pleasure”, or even “it is wrong that you do not have desire, you can have a desire”. disease for it” are some of the phrases that women have had to hear throughout history.
The useless effort of forcing the spontaneous
One of the solutions that people often try when they don’t feel desire is to push themselves and try to deliberately provoke it. However, the more they try to fix the problem, the further they stray from the solution, becoming frustrated and miserable about it.
When it comes to other sensations, no one considers fighting or trying to force something that we understand must arise more spontaneously. For example, we assume that we cannot control our appetite or the urge we have to go to the bathroom. We accept that we do not choose who we fall in love with, we cannot forget what we have experienced and we cannot laugh with happiness or cry at will.
However, when it comes to desire, there are those who insist on trying to modify it and manage it at will. Sometimes trying to reach expectations how little they have to do with reality. They fight against themselves looking for solutions that, instead of helping, sometimes make the problem bigger than it was initially.
Desire doesn’t fall from the sky either
Desire is also not something static, passive, immobile and totally unrelated to what the person does, feels or thinks . At the other pole we find those who trust in magic formulas or divine interventions so that their desire awakens.
A pill that automatically increases libido has not yet been invented. In fact, be wary of those who sell you magical remedies to solve your problem, whatever it may be, not just sexual.
Human sexuality is not black or white. It is neither about adopting a position of demand and control of desire nor, on the contrary, of waiting for a miracle to happen. The desire of each person is unique and exclusive, it works differently depending on what they have experienced, her environment, what he is experiencing at that moment and the time in which he is.
Know and take care of our desire
Getting to know and look at our desire with curiosity, without trying to judge or control it, is a first step to understand how our body works. There is no ideal frequency or intensity to achieve. Each person has their own “normal” level depending on what is happening in their life and their characteristics or biological moment.
The protagonist of the article, although it is closely related to sexuality, does not only include this plane. Desire can refer to the need for intimacy, love, affection and complicity with another person or, also, to the need to have sexual relations with oneself or with other people.
As we have already pointed out, it is not something detached from the person and that happens by magic or that can be forced whenever you want; It’s more like a garden full of plants that need to be cultivated and watered every day to keep it healthy .
