Do you want to know how to last longer in bed and improve your performance and turn yourself into a real Superman of sex? I know, this is something that all men desire.
Unfortunately, on the internet it is easy to run into scams and advice without any foundation, especially when it comes to such delicate issues that have to do with the sexual sphere.
Today I want to give you some practical advice, which you can put into practice immediately and test their effectiveness yourself.
What is premature ejaculation and how can it be beaten?
It is a very frequent dysfunction among men, so much so that it is mentioned in the literature as “the most common among male sexual dysfunctions”. In fact, it is estimated that 25-40% of men suffer from this unpleasant disorder, the triggering cause of which is often unknown.
There are no universally accepted parameters to define a certain picture of premature ejaculation, but taking an average between the various studies proposed on the subject, one can speak with certainty of premature ejaculation if the sperm emission occurs before reaching penetration, or in any case within one minute of the start of the relationship.
It is also important that the disorder continues for several months in order to be able to make a diagnosis of premature ejaculation. If on the contrary, it is a single episode or one that occurs rarely, it may simply be a passing phenomenon, perhaps due to stress.
According to a study by the Italian Society of Andrology (SIA), intercourse lasts on average from 3 to 7 minutes.
If your average is 8 minutes wait to cheer, because being average or just above doesn’t mean it’s a satisfying duration. In fact, the same study tells us that 38% of Italian women are not satisfied, sexually speaking, with their partner.
And then if you are a follower of mine you have to make me look good, so we have to work harder and since you also read the article: how to drive a woman crazy in bed.
To finish with the statistics, you must know that only 20% of cases of premature ejaculation are caused by physical dysfunctions and therefore medical intervention is necessary.
80% of cases are due to psychological and behavioral causes and it is precisely for this category of people that the following advice will be most useful. So let’s see the 7 secrets on how to last longer in bed.
How to last longer in bed: secret # 1
Stop masturbating quickly
I know, time is always short and commitments are many, so you often jerk off in a hurry as soon as you have 5 free minutes, right?
Bad very bad! There is nothing more wrong.
Sex, but also self-eroticism, are things that must be done with the utmost calm, without stress and without anxiety.
Masturbation, if you just can’t help it, should be a moment of relaxation, not an additional stress .
Jerking off quickly just to empty yourself only exacerbates the problem, so if you don’t have at least 30-40 minutes to devote yourself to listening to your body and the sensations it gives you, don’t start at all. You have to take all the time you need, relax and enjoy the moment.
How to last longer in bed: secret # 2
Anxiety is your worst enemy
Hey calm down, you’re not taking an exam!
Having sex with a beautiful girl must be a pleasant thing, something that you like first of all and that also satisfies your partner.
The problem with many guys is that they feel under pressure, as if the girl was there to judge them and so they get anxious… and that’s it.
Well you must know that the more worried and anxious you are, the more your fears will eventually come true!
Sex and worries do not go together , think about relaxing and enjoy the moment, enjoy the mutual contact of the bodies touching each other and every other sensation that you can perceive beautiful.
How to last longer in bed: secret # 3
You can’t run like a hare if you can’t even walk like a turtle!
I know, this sounds like an old Chinese proverb, but it’s actually very valuable advice.
It means that when you are with a woman, you don’t have to think about penetrating her in a hurry and with all the impetuosity you have. Calm!
Again, haste is a bad counselor. If you really want to become the idol of women, you need to know one thing: a woman needs to be stimulated gradually before being penetrated. I often don’t start to penetrate her if I haven’t given her at least one orgasm by oral or manual stimulation before her.
This has the double effect of making the girl indescribably aroused and making you feel more confident, as, badly, you have already made her cum once.
Do you want to know how I do it in detail and make your woman experience explosive orgasms even without penetration? Start by clicking here to download 3 free videos where Emy and I reveal our precious secrets about sex.
How to last longer in bed: secret # 4
Breathe slowly and deeply
Breathing deeply has a beneficial effect on anxiety and helps to relax. This consequently has a positive effect on erection and premature ejaculation.
When you are tense and stressed, you tend to take short, shallow breaths. The cells oxygenate poorly and poorly and the body does not respond as it should. This also affects “him”, who cannot get the blood needed for an excellent erection.
So breathe, fill your lungs well and don’t stay in apnea .
But also be careful not to make the opposite mistake, that is to exaggerate with your breathing, otherwise you risk hyperventilating and it is never a pleasant thing.
How to last longer in bed: secret # 5
Sex isn’t just about penetration
Unfortunately, most men have a rather limited vision of sex, and if you are one of them too, from today you have to keep in mind this phrase: “Sex is not just penetration”.
In this, women are much more evolved than we boys.
Sex is a game of perception, it is made up of caresses, kisses, hands that explore strategic points… in short, your dick is not the only tool you have to make a woman enjoy.
Any part of your body can become a weapon with high erotic potential!
How can this help you to last longer?
Simple. The next time you’re making love to a girl and you feel like you’re about to cum, but it’s still too early … stop for a moment, hold your orgasm and keep stimulating her with your hands or mouth.
There is no limit to what you can do to them. Use your imagination, experiment!
In this regard, I suggest you also read the articles: “How to make a woman enjoy” and “How to make her crazy in bed”.
When you feel that the “danger” has passed, change your position and start over.
How to last longer in bed: secret # 6
Don’t be selfish!
It happens to everyone sooner or later to make a performance that is not exactly brilliant, you do not have to worry and it is absolutely normal, and there is a remedy for everything.
Just by applying the advice I gave you in this article I am sure that you will get great satisfaction, indeed, write your experiences in the comments if you want.
Before concluding this point, however, I want to give you one last, fundamental piece of advice, which however many men seem to ignore.
DON’T BE SELFISH!
If you happen to be unable to resist long enough to make your woman cum, don’t run out of bed because “you came so much”!
The least you can do is work hard to give her the orgasm she deserves too . And you have no excuse, as I told you in point 5, you have your whole body available to do it.
How to last longer in bed: secret # 7
Kegel and Reverse Kegel exercises
These are exercises that are used to be able to control the muscles involved in sexual intercourse.
Being able to control these muscles allows you to delay ejaculation and therefore to last longer.
According to Barbara Keesling, expert in sex therapy and author of the book “How to Make Love All Night”, there are two types of men in the world: those who control their penis and those who are controlled by their penis .
A man who cannot control his penis is a man who lives in fear. He is afraid that his inadequacy of him will be discovered, he is unable to have a satisfying sex life and is unable to satisfy the woman he loves. The biggest obstacle to sexual pleasure is the fear that our “equipment” is not up to par, and often this fear comes from our lack of knowledge of our genitals.
A healthier relationship with our reproductive organ can solve a series of very common problems such as performance anxiety, giving humans adequate control over its functioning and greater self-confidence.
Your sexual performance can therefore be understood, altered and improved . And that is precisely the purpose of this article.
What the pubococcygeus muscle is and how it can help you
The penis, as you surely know, is not a muscle. I know, it’s a shame, if it had been so it would have been enough to train it like any other muscle to keep it in good shape.
However, not everyone knows that there is a muscle that plays a fundamental role in maintaining an erection. We are talking about the pubococcygeus muscle.
Basically, the pubococcygeus (PC) muscle is what you use to stop the flow from the bladder, and it’s the same muscle that contracts to expel sperm during ejaculation.
As I told you, this muscle is essential for sexual activity and to last longer in bed , but until a few years ago almost no one was aware of these important functions and how to train it in the correct way to improve sexual performance.
Being able to control the pubococcygeus muscle means having full control of your penis, increasing the duration of your performance and achieving a much greater sensation of pleasure (you can even experience multiple orgasms).
Mastering the techniques for controlling this muscle is not difficult, it requires a commitment of a few minutes a day, but constant over time.
All you need are 2 or 3 exercises which I will explain to you in a few minutes a day of your time.
Also you must know that, beyond the actual penetration, there are many other weapons that a real man must know how to master, such as the art of cunnilingus and fingering.
Before starting: how to locate the pubococcygeus muscle to do the exercises correctly
The first thing you need to do before starting with the exercises is to be able to perceive and understand where the pubococcygeus muscle is, which will become your best ally and will allow you to last longer in bed.
For many men, finding it is simple and straightforward, while for others it can be a little more complicated.
Now I’ll explain the simplest way to identify it and isolate it from other nearby muscles:
First, gently place two fingers behind the testicles. Now push as if you were going to urinate and immediately hold back as if you were blocking the urine. You will feel a muscle contracting at that point, do you feel it stiffen?
Here, you just found your pubococcygeus muscle. You may have noticed that your penis and testicles “jumped” a little when you contracted this muscle.
Warning: it is very important that during the exercises that follow, you can only and only contract this muscle, while those of the stomach and thighs must remain relaxed.
Kegel exercise n ° 1: contraction and relaxation
Here we are at the first exercise to train your pubococcygeus muscle. Make yourself comfortable, the first few times you will need some concentration, but later you will be able to do this simple exercise anywhere.
All you have to do is: contract the pubococcygeus muscle as I taught you a moment ago, hold the contraction for 1 or 2 seconds and then release . Easy right ?!
Repeat this exercise for 20 reps, 3 times per day (60 reps per day)
Obviously, it is not necessary to keep your fingers on the muscle during this process. The first few times maybe you can do it, if you have difficulty in identifying the muscle, but then you can proceed without touching it, you just need to feel it.
I know, it may seem too simple to be effective, but I guarantee it is, and you will soon find out for yourself.
Be careful not to hold your breath while you do it, breathe normally in order to oxygenate the body well, in fact oxygen is also essential to maintain a powerful erection.
It is also important not to overdo the contractions, since a muscle risks making it inflame with all the consequences of the case.
Repeat this exercise 3 times a day for 3 weeks .
Kegel exercise n ° 2: the long contraction
Have you been doing exercise 1 for 3 weeks? Well, then you should already start noticing the first improvements and it’s time to move on to the next exercise.
Continue doing the 20 contractions of the first exercise as you have done so far, but now you need to add 10 slow and prolonged contractions .
How you do it?
Contract the pubococcygeus muscle as hard as you can, hold the contraction for 5 seconds, then slowly release it.
Repeat 10 times and that’s it.
With this exercise you should feel the PC muscle working very intensely.
You may have a hard time doing 10 reps right away, but don’t worry and don’t push yourself too hard. Start with 3 or 4 repetitions and gradually increase day after day until you reach 10.
Kegel exercise n ° 3: Stop & Go
This exercise is a bit more difficult and should be done during masturbation .
It consists in being able to block ejaculation thanks to the contraction of the pubococcygeus muscle , which by now should have become strong enough.
How does it take place?
Make yourself comfortable and take as much time as you like, because this exercise should be done without rushing.
Start slowly, without sudden movements, relax all the muscles of the abdomen and thighs and breathe calmly.
Gradually increase the speed until you reach a certain level of arousal, then stop , stop the stimulation and simultaneously contract the pubococcygeus muscle.
Take a deep breath and let your arousal subside a little, then slowly start again.
Increase the speed again until you reach a higher arousal peak than the previous one, then stop again, contract the PC muscle and take a deep breath.
Continue this exercise for 15 to 20 minutes . What you have to do is try to reach a peak of arousal higher than the previous one each time, but managing to block ejaculation thanks to the PC muscle and breathing.
How often should I do this exercise? Let’s say it depends a lot on the cases, but I would say that once or twice a week can be fine almost always.
Keep in mind that, once you master exercises 1 and 2, you can limit yourself to doing them as maintenance a couple of times a month and therefore you have more time to dedicate to this third exercise which includes them all.
Reverse Kegel exercises to last longer: more difficult, but also very effective …
The Reverse Kegel exercises are those that, unlike the classic Kegels, will work on the relaxation (and not on the strengthening) of both the Bulbocavernosus (BC) muscle, that is the muscle located at the base of the penis, and the Pubococcygeus (PC) muscle, i.e. the muscle bundle that runs from the coccyx to the pubic bone.
Learning to relax these muscles will help you control ejaculation so that you only let go when you decide. This way you will have the opportunity to make the relationship last as long as you want.
Of all the techniques to combat premature ejaculation, reverse Kegels are the ones that cause the most confusion, especially because it is a bit complicated to locate the necessary muscles.
Despite the initial difficulty, it is worth a try as they will help you stay calm during sex and not get overwhelmed by arousal.
Reverse Kegels are a bit more complicated than classic Kegels. This is because it may be difficult to understand the exact position of the muscles and even more difficult to understand how to move them correctly.
Usually this happens because not enough classic Kegels have been made and therefore the muscles involved are not known. So the best way to identify the correct muscles is to learn how to do normal kegels first.
Reverse Kegels involve the same muscles, but in a different way . Since these are muscles that we are usually unaware of, it takes time to learn to contract or relax them on command.
So, if you learn the classic ones well, you will have a very good chance of doing the reverses correctly too.
Reverse Kegel: here are the practical exercises
1. PUSH DOWN
The first exercise to learn to do reverse Kegels correctly is, in fact, the reverse movement of classic Kegels.
If in Kegels you have to contract and relax the Pubococcygeus muscle, in Reverse Kegels you have to push down hard, a bit like when you pee and want to empty your bladder quickly.
Here, try this exercise while you pee: start normally and then push harder to increase urine flow.
Repeat this exercise several times a day , but don’t overdo it.
2 . BREATHE WITH THE DIAPHRAGM
Most people breathe with their chest. To improve reverse Kegels, however, it is useful to learn to breathe by expanding the stomach and then using the diaphragm . This will allow you to focus more and isolate the movement of the single muscle you want to use.
Practice this type of lower and deeper breathing every day, twice a day .
3. CONTROL BREATHING AND MOVEMENT
Now combine the two movements. Try to control your breathing as you push down .
Surely you have noticed that while you push, the movement also involves the muscles of the belly and the diaphragm. Diaphragmatic breathing helps you do just that: to focus your attention only on the pushing movement of the PC and BC muscles and not on the others.
The movement of the diaphragm and the muscles of the penis must be independent.
Train for 5 minutes a day to push and breathe in a controlled manner. Focus your mind on this exercise and try to encourage muscle control.
4. 20 + 4
Sit or lie down and relax for a minute. Now breathe for 4 seconds and push down as if you were going to pee for at least 20 seconds . Try to do this without stretching your belly or involving other muscles. Now relax and breathe for another 4 seconds. Repeat this exercise 9 times.
5. STRIVE TO STAY RELAXED
It’s time to really try reverse Kegels. You can do this initially while masturbating and then you can try it out during sex. The procedure is the same in both cases.
First of all take some time to be able to masturbate calmly because if you don’t have a relaxed mind you will hardly be able to perfectly control all the muscles. So, if you’re running out of time, avoid trying reverse Kegels.
Exercise consists of being able to control and keep the muscles of the penis relaxed so that intercourse can last longer.
If you have done the exercises described above by now you will be able to do the downward thrusting movement correctly without engaging the abdominal muscles and controlling your breathing.
Start masturbating by trying to keep your stomach and legs relaxed as much as possible. Make slow movements and start focusing your breathing on the diaphragm.
Now pick up the pace until you feel the excitement rise. At this point you will have to try to keep the muscles of the penis relaxed by pushing down and breathing slowly and deeply to control ejaculation.
When you feel that you are in full control, increase the pace, the excitement and do the same movement again as before.
Gradually increase the pace until you reach a higher arousal than the previous one, but without letting it get the better of you.
Continue this exercise for at least 20 minutes until you feel that you are in full control of the situation.
You can repeat this exercise up to 2-3 times a week until you find that you can perfectly relax your muscles and control ejaculation as you please.
How to last longer in bed: conclusion
We have come to the end of this long and substantial article. I am sure that if you put these tips into practice, within 1 or 2 months you will be able to reach a resistance that you did not even imagine before.
For your part, you just have to put in a few minutes a day and do these simple (and also enjoyable) exercises.
In most cases, premature ejaculation is not an irreversible problem and you can use various “tricks” to improve your performance and last longer in bed in order to have the time to give your partner the orgasms she deserves.
In summary, the 7 secrets to last longer in bed are:
- Stop masturbating quickly , because doing so only aggravates the problem. If you really have to, take 30-40 minutes and do it calmly.
- No anxiety! Sex and anxiety don’t get along, don’t think the girl is there to judge you as the most wicked of high school teachers, but enjoy the moment and everything will be more beautiful and fulfilling.
- Start gradually . You don’t have to rush on her like a runaway bull, stimulate her gradually and she too will orgasm faster.
- Breathe . When you breathe your whole body of oxygen and functions better, including your penis!
- Sex isn’t just about penetration . If you feel like you are about to cum, you can always stop for a moment and continue to stimulate her with your hands and mouth while giving your penis time to recover!
- Don’t be selfish . If you can’t resist and come before her, the least you can do is use every weapon at your disposal (hands, mouth, etc …) to give her the orgasm she deserves too.
- Kegel and Reverse Kegel exercises : these are exercises that strengthen the pelvic floor muscles and thus help to control ejaculation.