There are several insecurities that torment men on the sexual level. Premature ejaculation or not having an erection are some of the best known. Dealing with the issue naturally and putting yourself in the hands of a professional is important so that these fears do not become chronic.
Sex undresses us. It strips us in every way. One by one, it strips us of the layers under which we hide not only our bodies, but also our deepest desires. The mask that we carefully tied before going into the arena falls to the ground and we then allow ourselves to be embraced by the intimacy that surrounds this act. Of course, the desire for pleasure often collides with insecurities that, without the mask, are exposed .
At this point, we have asked ourselves about the main fears that men share in the field of sexuality. “Many of these fears are, without a doubt, totally unfounded and stem from false beliefs or a lack of sexual education . This allows us to give a vision of sexuality free of stereotypes and acting roles that frees people to have a healthy sexual life”, emphasizes Angel Luis Guillen, sexologist and director of the Psicopartner Center for Psychology and Sexology.
In addition to zero sexual education, Sonia Garcia, psychologist and sexologist, author of the book “Los enemigos del sexo”, points out other reasons why these insecurities can arise, such as experiencing traumatic experiences firsthand or learning about situations that other people have suffered . in this area . The expert also alludes to those inappropriate references in sex, such as porn or lack of self-esteem.
The specialists consulted have exposed the main fears that are the reason for consultation:
- Leave the couple unsatisfied . An excessive concern appears in the man about being unable to please, that his sexual performance is not as expected and that, finally, the other person does not achieve orgasm.
- Suffer erection problems . The well-known “trigger” is a problem that horrifies men and that is directly related to their own self-esteem. “They have the mistaken idea that you always have to be ready and willing to have sexual relations, without taking into account the fatigue, stress and worries of the day that will influence sexual performance,” explains Guillen.
- Premature ejaculation . Premature ejaculation is another of the great concerns of men. The director of Psicopartner affirms that the fact of “finishing it off too quickly and the couple being dissatisfied causes these people to have a behavior focused on delaying ejaculation.”
- Compare sex with that of other lovers. There are men who are obsessed with achieving a good sexual performance to be above other sexual relationships that the couple has had.
- Small penis complex. The size of the penis is usually another of the most common fears . “It comes from the mistaken idea that women will enjoy penetration more,” highlights the sexologist.
These factors end up harming the sexual life of the person who suffers them, “to such an extent that an absolute rejection of sexuality can be generated,” laments Garcia, who also reports on the difficulty that usually exists when it comes to finding a partner. . Also, you can develop “low self-esteem, anxiety, depression and other problems of sexual desire, arousal, reaching orgasm and pain.”
How to overcome these fears
Both specialists insist on what really serves to address all the fears mentioned: sex education. In this sense, Guillen indicates that reliable sex education channels must be identified and managed by qualified professionals .
On the other hand, remember that the lack of sexual education is general, “so it is important not to rely solely on the advice of friends or family, but to compare it with a health professional.” In relation to the damage that porn can do, the sexologist comments that you have to be aware that this is just fiction, not a reference .
In the same way, another aspect that must be worked on in these situations is communication with the partner, who can help to overcome the specific fear that is suffered.
Lack of knowledge is often the cause of thinking that these types of problems should remain private . However, it is advisable to treat the issue naturally and see a specialist if necessary. “These fears can cause significant sexual dysfunctions that will generate negative sexual experiences, sometimes becoming true traumas ,” Guillen warns.
The expert concludes that “not giving importance to these fears or thinking that they will go away on their own can make the problem chronic. A psychological blockage is produced that becomes chronic over time and that can last a lifetime if there is no solution ”.