You are having desired sexual relations with a person you like very much, you are enjoying yourself, you are having a good time, you reach the much-desired orgasm and right after, when you are at the moment when you are supposed to relax and smile, a strange feeling of sadness and sadness appears. you feel like crying. You can’t help it and you drop tears. Your companion looks at you and feels puzzled. He didn’t think things were going that bad. He hugs you and asks you what’s wrong, but you don’t know what to answer.
This scene can be surreal for some people, since it is clear to anyone that sex has to be a moment of play and satisfaction. And who cries after having a good time? But according to the study Postcoital Dysphoria: Prevalence and Psychological Correlates, carried out in 2015 by Schweitzer, O’Brien and Burri with 232 university students, 46% of those surveyed had suffered a similar reaction at least once in their lives. Having feelings of sadness, melancholy or discomfort after a sexual encounter, frequently and not attributable to other reasons, is known as postcoital dysphoria.
These sensations, if they occur continuously, can cause a decrease in sexual desire. If you cry frequently, sex will be associated with a bad time and will have a negative effect on motivation. It can also cause arguments with the partner, distancing or even rejection of the other person. By not understanding the reasons for the discomfort and having an emotional setback, she is blamed for them even though there is no reason to do so.
As detailed by Gil Vera in his article Postcoital sexual dysphoria in married life (Revista de Sexología, 2019), this reaction, which usually lasts a few minutes, can occur in both men and women. It is mainly due to a normal response from the brain once the effects of dopamine, endorphins, oxytocin and prolactin generated after orgasm begin to diminish. That is, it is like a rebound effect. After the rush of hormones, comes the crash. Because hormones are responsible for the varied emotions that can be felt after an orgasm. Some reactions are more common than others. For example, it is common that because of prolactin, generated in greater quantities in men than in women, the desire to sleep enters. Oxytocin may be responsible for the desire to connect with the other person, to give and receive love. If the reaction is to smile and feel in a state of blissful happiness, the responsibility lies with the endorphins.
Knowing these effects helps to understand why we behave in certain ways. If someone gets sleepy, it does not necessarily mean that they are insensitive or careless. Or if after a good sexual encounter with someone you’ve just met you feel like kissing and hugging, make no mistake: it doesn’t have to be a sudden crush. Although human behavior, in general and also sexually, cannot be reduced to only a biological question. The psychological and the social are fundamental parts of our condition. In the case of postcoital dysphoria, which has also been associated with limited sexual education, abuse, or some psychological discomfort.
Post-orgasmic sickness syndrome that looks like the flu
Although there are common reactions after an orgasm, the existence of others that may be more strange has also been confirmed. In addition to crying, in the studio Did You Climax or Are You Just Laughing at Me? Rare Phenomena Associated With Orgasm (which could be translated as Have you reached the climax or are you just laughing at me? Strange phenomena associated with orgasm), Reinert and Simon named cataplexy (muscular weakness), facial and/or ear pain, feet and head, pruritus (tingling in the skin that causes the desire to scratch), laughter, panic attacks, seizures and sneezing, among other phenomena that can occur when reaching the climax.
Post-orgasmic sickness syndrome is another one of those rare effects. It occurs in men when, after ejaculating, they have reactions similar to a flu. It may include fatigue, low-grade fever, sweating, mood swings, irritability, memory problems, difficulty concentrating, congested or itchy eyes. Most symptoms last two to seven days and go away on their own.
The incidence of this reaction is not clear, there is evidence of about 50 cases reflected in the medical literature. Its exact cause is also unknown, although hypotheses suggest that it may be due to an allergy to semen, which would cause a hypersensitivity reaction. This syndrome, for which there is still no effective remedy, negatively affects the life of those who suffer from it, since it limits and conditions their sexual encounters. It can cause you to avoid any erotic practice, both with yourself and with other people.
A good sexual encounter is not reduced to what happens during it. The before and after is also very important. The before, because desire is the engine that leads us to that relationship and starting with desire, if they are elevated better, is a priori a good sign. And after, because the simple fact of reaching an orgasm is not synonymous with satisfaction. Knowing why what happens can help to understand that after, perhaps to improve it and, with it, to enjoy the relationship more. A satisfying sex life is also health.
