The main differences
In a world where the urge to sex is continually solicited, where “biblical” knowledge becomes a priority, absolute, the difference between having sex and making love comes back into vogue to better understand how this act is ultimately also sacred. It is as valid for men as for women, having sex represents a physiological need, less present in subjects who consider themselves asexual or connected to the emotional sphere for those who define themselves as demisexual and who achieve pleasure only if there is a bond of trust and a romantic understanding.
The first difference lies in the involvement of one or both partners. To have beautiful sex it takes attraction, alchemy, a mix of physical odors, rhythms that match, skin that is called. Physical attraction remains the important component and if you like someone you understand it from how you speak, sweat, move and express yourself (often touch your hair, blush, positive nervousness, greater care for aesthetics, etc). To bring this sexual drive to something close to making love takes an interest that is also on a different level. If you are interested in that person’s opinion, if you like what she says, how she studies, how she wants to grow, how she seeks, how she talks to you. Having sex could also be the response to an impulsemomentary, while making love becomes like a kind of ritual, something to be celebrated also on an emotional level . You take a different space and care, a completely solid time and attention. The fundamental difference lies in the search for exchange, in the deep desire to merge the intimate sphere with the intellectual and sentimental one. If the soul prevails, that is the search for looks, the profound aspect, the clarity, the caresses and the words, then, most likely, you are making love.
How to understand what you want to do
There are many cases: you may be at the beginning of a relationship that looks happy and you feel enthusiastic about the new intriguing beginning. Or you can still be in the process of suffering from the end of a previous relationship that you did not even want to end or that you had to end in order not to go crazy, after trying them all to make it work and having lost in terms of energy and mental health. Or maybe it’s been many months, if not years, that you don’t feel like dating someone and now you find yourself at the gates of a new acquaintance, after a few appointments where maybe there have been kisses and now the option of something intimate opens up. . Anyway, any situationit has something extremely different and what really matters is how you feel inside, how you feel you want to face the encounter under the sheets with someone new. Let’s see together some clues to understand how to move:
The care you feel you want to give
Deal with the care you feel you want to give to the other person. If it annoys you to reply to messages or if you feel extreme tiredness even at the first phone calls, you must also take this into account to avoid deceiving those in front of you. Do not dive into something wanting to idealize it at all costs and be honest if you do not feel the attention towards the other person being born and developing in you. Sometimes it takes time, sometimes it just doesn’t trigger and it pays to say so.
Spend time alone
Take some time to dispose and feel. Try to guess what you really want from the relationship in front of you. Even if it were just sex, it doesn’t mean that respect has to be broken . Before giving and giving, take the time to reflect and understand. Being alone puts us in contact with a deep internal communication and when that does not fail we can do everything and go anywhere. Without fear and with a lot of courage, in an authentic way.
Sometimes a story starts to help you dispose of another, sometimes for a real spark . In any case, when you undress in front of another person, you should open your heart in a total and carefree way, without filters. The skin of those in front of you remains as sacred as yours. Try to stay with your mind and possibly an open heart. Sometimes it starts as sex and then you don’t know it becomes… maybe something extremely close to making love in a deep and lively way. Sacred.
Recognize toxic elements immediately
If you feel hopelessly tired after the exchange with a person, if you are dumped after a few days and then suddenly taken back with big promises, if it seems to you that the person uses excessive words for a start, think locallyand realize that they are all extremely red flags. If the lightness and fun fail too soon, take a step back. Relationships must begin with light and fun tones, actions that must give you energy and not take it away. Don’t get into heavy cobwebs that tangle you in an unwanted way. Away who talks to you about “you are the man / woman of my life” after a day, far from those who incorporate and expel you at will, beware of those who involve you talking badly about their family and then try to incorporate them, be very careful with those it does not take into consideration your times and deep needs. On the sex side, you immediately realize if you are being listened to or not and you must never underestimate what you are hearing.