Many of the sexual secrets you keep are likely to be shared by millions of people. Now, what are the most common?
Sincerity is one of the main pillars that support couple relationships . However, everyone keeps something to himself, sometimes harmful and sometimes harmless. This is the case of sexual secrets, the content of which is embarrassing for the person who keeps them.
What leads a person to keep aspects of their sex life to themselves? Sometimes these are harmless preferences that, if revealed, would even help you enjoy sex more with your partner.
In this article, you will be able to learn about the sexual secrets that are most often hidden from the couple, as well as the reasons for doing so. Do not miss it, because it says a lot about the sexual and social culture of today.
The sexual secrets that we usually hide from our partner
Trying to find out more about sexual secrets and the reasons for not sharing them, within the framework of this study, the researchers administered a questionnaire to 195 university students. There were differences between men and women, both in the subject of secrets and in the reasons for keeping them .
More than a third of the participants, specifically 36%, claimed to keep at least one sexual secret. 55% of them also stated that they had revealed this secret to their partner at some point.
1. Having emotionally cheated on the partner
This fact appeared in both men and women. No distinction was made between cheating involving physical relationships or purely emotional infidelity. In short, both sexes had romantic feelings for people outside the relationship and they hid it from their partner.
2. A taste for BDSM
The acronym BDSM contains the terms bondage , discipline and domination, submission and sadism, and masochism. It is about a series of alternative sexual practices based on mutual consent and that play with pain thresholds and dominance-submission roles.
The majority of people who showed interest in BDSM were women.
3. One of the most common sexual secrets: the use of pornography
Both men and women claimed to have consumed pornographic material . Although this practice is less and less hidden -as pornography is also beginning to be produced that is more consonant with the values of respect and consent-, it continues to be an object of shame.
4. Having performed a threesome
Men scored higher than women on this secrecy, that is, they more frequently hid having had sexual relations with two people at the same time . In monogamous couples, reluctance to ask the other person to experiment with this practice is often reported.
5. Interest in sex toys
In this case, it was the women who scored highest when it came to sharing with their partner that they felt attracted to the use of sex toys. Normally, these objects are first tried solo and then included in joint sexuality.
On the other hand, women who like these accessories report greater satisfaction and self-knowledge in the field of sexuality.
6. The worst of sexual secrets: episodes of abuse
This study uncovered a painful fact: the secret that was at the top of women’s lists was the existence of any sexual abuse in their lives. Going through an experience like this usually leaves a deep and traumatic mark on the victims, but it is one of the crimes that is least reported. It seems that it is also not shared very often with someone who is supposed to support and understand you.
Why are sexual secrets hidden?
Why keep secrets in a relationship? Within the framework of this study, the participants were also asked why they did not share their secrets with their partners. The results were the following:
- Men kept certain information secret, such as infidelities or the consumption of pornography, for fear of reaping the other’s disapproval. They also reported not wanting their secrets to affect or end the relationship.
- The women reported that they did not reveal their sexual secrets because they perceived that their partners would not be understanding. Other reasons also appeared, such as fear of divulging their secret and shame.
Many of the women who feared that their secret would be revealed had also at some point experienced the public derision of revealing it. In addition, the people who told their secret to others were usually close people, such as friends, family or ex-partners. However, many people also reported positive experiences when revealing sexual secrets . In the case of sexual tastes, there were even men and women who said they had enriched their life as a couple thanks to the confession . Others, on the contrary, said they had experienced disapproval from their partner, felt regret, and even had caused the relationship to break up.