Why do couples have less sex?

Arriving home without the obligations and demands having ended: children, shopping, maintenance of the home… For when the time comes to have a little time in which the obligations do not exist, you just want to go to bed, abandon yourself to sleep without thinking about anything else. This is how the days, the weeks, the years go by. Only from time to time do we lean over the precipice of time and turn around, because what we see scares us so much.

Why do most couples say they would like to have sex more often? It is not just a question of the intensity of the individual sexual drive, but in general people have less sex than they would like according to their own criteria.

For this reason, several professionals have launched to investigate what is hidden under the decrease in sexual encounters . Thus, in this article we will identify the causes that are contributing to this trend.

Couples have less and less sex: the figures

The vital reality of many people rarely stands out from work and daily tasks. When it comes to entertainment, the options are endless, especially in cyberspace. What place is left for sex in this scenario?

A study carried out in the United States has tried to obtain data indicative of the trend, finding that the frequency of sexual intercourse has been significantly reduced.

In 2010, adults had 9 times less sex than 20 years ago . This was increased, above all, in stable couples, in those who had children in common and in people who did not consume pornography.

Regarding sexual practices, the smallest were coital and penetrative practices in stable heterosexual couples. According to intergenerational testimonies, sex used to be conceived as just another daily activity, a way to spend time doing something fun .

Currently, quality is preferred over quantity in sexual relations.

Why are the statistics down now?

What has happened in these 20 years of comparison of the study? 10 years after this publication, the figures follow the same trend. Experts have also made an effort to find the causes, finding the ones that we list below.

1. Sex as routine

30 years ago, society was much simpler than it is now; and not only in thought, but also in the way of life. Leisure options, lifestyles or work related were also much smaller. Let’s just say that sex had fewer competitors.

This left a wide window to everyday life, in which  sex had more weight as an option to have a good time . This, in fact, leads us to the next section.

2. Live to sleep and prepare tomorrow’s food

The working days are endless. And not just in the literal sense of those who spend 12 hours (or more) working, but also in the sense of those who continue to receive orders from their boss via mobile when they walk out the door. Many times, the line between daily life and work is blurred, so the desire to have relationships diminishes .

In addition, with the incorporation of teleworking, it is still necessary to work and regularize the extension of the working day. When you sleep and work in the same physical space, it can be hard to disconnect and, therefore, think about sex.

3. Tiredness and capitalism

All of the above leads to a general physical and mental state in the population: fatigue. Women and people in charge of children are the ones who suffer the most from the chronicity of this lack of energy . Although the general trend seems to be moving towards equalization, the differences between genders are still notable.

Capitalism punishes anyone who is saddled with responsibilities beyond work, especially those who are not white men, it seems. However, in those countries where minority rights and equality are more developed, better figures for sexual satisfaction are recorded.

4. Anxiety and depression

Mental health is another pending issue in the Western world. Anxiety and depression are the two mental pathologies that most affect sexual desire and sexual satisfaction. Obviously, no one who suffers from psychological distress will feel in a position to practice sex on a regular basis.

On the other hand, anxiolytics and antidepressants also have an effect on libido, reducing it.

Depression decreases sexual desire.

5. Not more, but better

Another of the intergenerational differences in terms of sex is its own conception: from daily routine to leisure activity and a sign of intimacy. Although sex has always been associated with pleasure, new times also bring new rules regarding its practice.

The ideology surrounding sex in recent generations is another reason why couples have less and less sex: quality is preferred over quantity.

The sexual act is often measured to the millimeter to create the best of experiences. Therefore, if you do not have too much time to spend fully on it or guarantee the satisfaction of both, it is preferable to leave it for later.

While this last reason is a good justification for having less sex, all of the above are problems to be solved in our society. As always, the argument is the same: you can live without sex, but not without health. When people are guaranteed a decent quality of life, sexual figures will surely increase.