According to a study carried out by the erotic toy company Lelo, 7 out of 10 oeples say that, due to their day-to-day responsibilities, they spend less time than they would like to enjoy their sex life alone or with a partner.
With the usual rhythm of life, stress and fatigue make us prioritize activities that require the least effort possible, and sometimes sex may seem to us that it requires energy that we do not have, having preconceived ideas about how it “has to be”.
Sometimes sex can seem to us that it needs an energy that we do not have, having preconceived ideas about how it “has to be”
The basis of slow sex has to do with having a more conscious sex to undo expectations and, therefore, give space and importance to enjoying every moment with your senses wide awake. The idea of haste pervades the entire sexual relationship. For example, foreplay, also called foreplay, is a conception that supports the idea that the important thing is what comes after, be it penetration or reaching orgasm.
One of the factors that make it difficult to enjoy the sexual journey itself is having to climax as the only goal. With orgasm we enjoy, of course, and it has its space and importance, but if we don’t relativize this importance, it leads us to get frustrated every time we fail to achieve it in a sexual relationship. And the attention is focused more on achieving it than on enjoying the process.
If we give ourselves the necessary time to delight ourselves with each of the practices that until now we considered previous, we can discover a number of sensations that open us up to a more complete pleasure, both as a couple and alone.
Stress during sex
In the same way that the benefits of having sex are evident, the damages of doing it while stressed may not be so obvious. Stress during sexual intercourse can negatively affect both physically and psychologically.
There are as many ways to move towards slow sex as our imagination allows, but some factors to take into account may be the following: first of all, if it is going to be practiced as a couple, previously having conversations on the subject can be of great help. Communication is essential, it can be used for each person to express how they feel about this new practice, to ask what they would like to do and have them do it.
It is advisable to investigate new possibilities.
It is also advisable to investigate to discover new possibilities. This can help short-term couples to get to know each other better, and long-term couples to reinvent themselves together. For example, reading erotic stories, using new toys, going to an erotic shop to be inspired, trying massages with oils, feathers, dice with other parts of the body, etc. In short, explore your own eroticism and expand it.
Another tip is to dedicate a time agreed by both parties, without rushing and without wanting to get anywhere. Choose a day and a time that makes it easier to not be worried about work, to ensure that neither member of the couple has their head elsewhere and, if at any time this happens, to be able to say so and try to return to the present.
Do not blame yourself if you have lost sexual desire with your partner, we have the (possible) solution
At the end, it is important to communicate what we liked to receive, and what to give, what different aspects we would like to continue incorporating into our relationship. Talk about the nuances of pleasure, in its different forms. And if the experience has been positive, schedule a new slow sex session.